Short Story: A Cowersby Childhood


 * Author: Rachel
 * Google Document

You don’t remember a time before the temple.

No one would expect you to. You were, after all, an infant when you began your life here, on the eighth night of Winter’s Dawn four years ago. The other children in the village come to the temple for services or schooling, but most of them leave once that’s over. You and Dowan and Sorcha stay. Sorcha is an older girl with red hair- she seems grown-up to you, but later you’ll realize she’s actually not. She’s in charge when all the grown-ups are busy. She doesn’t seem to like living at the temple and she’s sad a lot of the time, but she’s usually nice to you and Dowan. Dowan is a boy older than you, but younger than Sorcha, and Father Glasny found him, like how he found you. Father Glasny is the head priest. He’s taller than you, but not by much. He’s much, much older though. Even Father Mortimer, who’s also much, much older than you, is much, much younger than him. You think Father Glasny knew him when he was your age, but you’re not sure, and you’re also not really interested enough to ask around and find out. You’re four.

Your name is Kilwin. Father Glasny gave it to you, you’re pretty sure, probably after enough time had passed that he could be pretty sure that no one was coming back to get you. Again, you’ve never really asked, but you’re not sure who else would have named you. You think most people get named by their parents, but as you figured out pretty early on, you don’t have parents. You asked Dowan about it once, and he said that you do, that you both do because everyone does, that they’ve just never been around, and you guess you believe him. Dowan wouldn’t lie about things. But you’re very good at listening to grown-ups and some of them say you don’t have parents, and they wouldn’t lie about things either, so it’s all very confusing to you. You don’t really need parents though. You have Father Glasny and Father Mortimer and Sister Honora and Crys and Sorcha and Dowan. Ellana is around a lot too. She’s Crys’s cousin, but the rest of you aren’t actually related the way other families in the village are. Ellana comes to the temple to pray a lot and sometimes she looks after you and Dowan when everyone else is busy. She’s quiet and doesn’t really like to play much, but you like her a lot. You don’t really like to play a whole lot anyway. The other children don’t really invite you along very often, and that’s okay with you. You like looking at the books in Father Glasny’s office, at least the ones he keeps where you can reach them, even if you don’t really understand them. You know some of the words already, and Father Glasny was very proud of you when you showed him that, but his books are for grown-ups. Still, you like holding them and looking at them. You like to play with blocks, but you figured out you can do that on your own. You’re very quiet about it, but Sister Honora still doesn’t like it. She thinks you should be playing with the other children instead, even though she doesn’t like when the other children play together, especially when they’re near the temple and start getting noisy. You don’t really understand Sister Honora and honestly, she scares you a little. Once, she got cross with you because there was a service at night, when you were supposed to be sleeping, but you left the room you share with Dowan to listen to it and she saw you right away. Father Glasny told her not to worry so much, before telling you that worry was all it was, that Sister Honora thought you’d be too tired tomorrow, and walking you back to bed. You still don’t really understand why she was cross if she was worried, but you don’t plan to sneak out like that again.

The services are your favorite part of living at the temple. The temple worships Alethus, and she created the world and everyone in it. People come here to talk to her about things that are bothering them and to thank her for things that make them happy. When people are born or get married or anything, everyone comes to the temple so that Alethus can watch over the occasion. You’re under the impression that Alethus would watch over the occasion either way, but it’s nicer to do things at the temple. You can’t say you understand everything that goes on in the service- there’s some big words that you’ve asked Father Glasny about, and he’s answered, but you still don’t really get them- but something about it comforts you. You like that everyone comes together, you like hearing the hymns (you know almost all the words, even though you don’t know what some of them mean yet), you even enjoy the smell of the incense. There’s another boy, a little older than you, named Len, who complains about these things. You don’t understand why, and frankly, it makes you not like him very much. You don’t say anything about it, though… Not yet.

All in all, you like living at the temple. Certainly, you don’t have much to compare it to… but again, at your age, who would expect you to? You live in a village called Cowersby. It’s apparently quite small, but again, you don’t have much grounds for comparison. There’s a lot of cows around, which you figure is why it’s called that. The cows make milk, which you really like. Dowan can’t drink it though, since it makes his stomach hurt. You also like the cows. They have very pretty eyes. There’s not a lot of dogs though, which makes you sad sometimes because you like dogs. You wish you had a dog, and you’re sure you’d take very good care of them if you did. Sister Honora says you’re too young though, and she says it would be hard to have one at the temple anyway. You have a list of names you could give your dog if you could have one, though, and from that list, Flennerman is your favorite. Most people in Cowersby seem to know your name, even though you’ve never told some of them. There’s a few children your age, or closer to your age than Dowan is at least. There’s a girl your age named Eleanor. If someone stops by the temple to ask if you want to play, it’s usually Eleanor. She’s friends with a boy who’s a year older than the two of you named Arthur. You think he’s very nice too, although you really only play or talk with him if Eleanor is also there. There’s also Len, of course, although he’s two years older, and even if he weren’t, you don’t think he likes you very much. Once, you saw him trying to climb on top of the temple’s altar. You were pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to be doing that, so you told a grown-up about it, but the first grown-up you found was Sister Honora, and she was very cross with Len. Len didn’t seem very fond of you before that, but he likes you even less now. Len has a friend named Harry who’s a little closer to your age, but he doesn’t seem to like you much either.

You know a lot of grown-ups too, not just the ones who live at the temple and Ellana. There’s Mr. and Mrs. Greendawn, Eleanor’s parents. Eleanor also has an older sister named Roslyn, who’s not a grown-up. There’s also the mayor, who visits with Father Glasny a lot. Their name is Mayor Finley, but most people just call them Mayor. They’re very tall and their ears are pointy, pointier than Father Glasny’s. They apparently have a lot they need to talk about. Dowan says it’s just about grown-up stuff. Sorcha tells you they talk about gold and making sure the temple is in good shape and making sure everyone can get enough food. Dowan says that means he’s right and it’s just grown-up stuff. Laucian is also tall and has really pointy ears. He lives in some kind of store, you think, but if you’ve ever been there, you don’t remember it. You smile and wave when you see him, like you do with the other grown-ups from around the village, but he usually just looks at you and nods when you do, instead of waving back like most of the others. He’s quiet in a way that reminds you of Ellana, so you think he’s really nice too. He likes to come to the temple when there’s not a lot of people around. You think he likes how it’s quiet. Sorcha says you’re right and that his shop is usually quiet too. She likes to go there sometimes and talks about helping him out sometimes, even though she also says he doesn’t really need much help. Sorcha seems to like being there more than being at the temple. You’re happy that she’s happy, but you can’t imagine liking somewhere more than the temple. Maybe when you’re older, you think, you’ll help out here instead of going somewhere else. A little before you turn five years old (or a little later than that… or maybe exactly when- you get some cake and a little present on Winter’s Dawn 8 since that’s when Father Glasny found you, but you don’t know when you actually get older), Father Glasny says it’s time for you to start going to school. School is at the temple, so you don’t have to walk very far to get there like some of the other children. Eleanor and Arthur and Len and Harry are also in school with you. Dowan and Sorcha and Eleanor’s sister Roslyn go to school too, but at different times, since they’re a lot older than you.

Father Glasny is usually in charge of school, although all the adults at the temple teach sometimes. Sometimes you practice reading, sometimes you learn about numbers, and sometimes you learn more about Alethus. You and Arthur are the only ones who really like school. Eleanor once told you that she doesn’t, but she does her best to sit still during it ever since Sister Honora told her to stop fidgeting so much. Len and Harry mostly horse around during lessons. You usually point it out to whoever’s teaching. Father Glasny will ask them to stop, and usually they do. Crys asks them to stop too, although it usually doesn’t work the first time, so they have to keep asking. Father Mortimer and Sister Honora usually tell one of them to get up and move so that you’re in between them. Either way, Len and Harry get mad and usually spend the rest of the class making rude faces at you when the teacher isn’t looking.

One day, after you’ve told Father Mortimer about Len and Harry again, the lesson finishes and you all get up to start walking home. You don’t have very far to walk. Father Mortimer leaves the room first because he has something else he needs to do, and you start to follow him. As you get to the doorway though, someone else tries to force their way past you, and you trip and fall down. It hurts, but you don’t cry, so you’re very proud of yourself. As you start to get up, though, you see Len standing over you with his hand in front of his mouth. “Sorry,” he says, before turning around and dashing away. Harry snickers as he runs past you, barely giving you a second look, following Len. Eleanor helps you get up, and she makes an angry face in the direction Len ran off.

“Do you hurt?” she asks. “He’s such a big jerk!”

“A little,” you tell her. “But it’s okay.” You think for a moment. “Father Mortimer said you shouldn’t call people that because it’s rude.” You’re under the impression that it’s so rude that you shouldn’t even repeat it back to her. “Besides, he said he was sorry.”

Eleanor gives you a strange look. “Yeah, but he was laughing. He wasn’t really sorry, he did it on purpose.”

You’re not really sure what to say to that. Maybe Eleanor is right that he’s not really sorry, but you can’t imagine he would’ve pushed you on purpose. You decide that you want to give him what Father Glasny calls “benefit of the doubt” for now. It had to have been an accident, and maybe he’ll feel bad later. In spite of some disruptions, you really like school. Father Glasny is your favorite teacher, so you’re really glad whenever he’s teaching. He’s probably your favorite grown-up too, now that you think about it, but you’d never say that to the other grown-ups in case it would hurt their feelings. When you want to tell Father Glasny about something, he tends to listen a little more and he even asks you questions about what you’re thinking, which you think is really nice. You’re pretty sure he’s busy most of the time, since he’s in charge of the temple, but you never get the feeling that you’re bothering him when you go into his office or have questions you want to ask him.

One day during lessons, Father Glasny is telling you about how Alethustria was created.

“As she shined her light upon her creation, she saw that it was empty. From the light she began to shape the lives of all the people who live in Alethustria- from the greatest of heroes to the lowliest of goblins. Or so it’s traditionally phrased. After all, all of us, goblins included, have the light of Alethus within us and the power to create and improve our world. However-”

Len raises his hand, but starts talking without waiting for Father Glasny to call on him. “What about drow? My mom says they’re all bad.”

Father Glasny arches an eyebrow. “Now Len, I don’t mean to tell you that you shouldn’t listen to your mother. But I do have to question if she’s managed to meet every drow in Alethustria… or even one of them.”

“No, but everyone knows about what drow do.”

Apparently Len is wrong about that, because you’re not really sure what he’s talking about. In fact, you’re not sure Len really knows what he’s talking about either, since he doesn’t seem ready to give details. You’re not surprised that Father Glasny seems to get it, though. “That does seem to be the main topic of conversation when most people talk about drow, I will admit that. And yet, Alethus created them all the same and there’s places in the world where they live in harmony with others just fine. I’m afraid we won’t have time to talk about the drow in detail in today’s lessons, but I’m willing to promise you that each of them has the capacity to be good and do good, whether they act on it or not. And while there’s things to be said for caution, when you meet a stranger, it’s important to give them a chance to show their intentions, no matter who they are.”

You nod solemnly, even as Len tries to sputter out a comeback about what his mom said. You don’t really know much about drow at all, except that they’re elves, like Mayor Finley and Laucian, who live underground. You’re also not supposed to talk to strangers unless there’s an adult you know with you, but what Father Glasny is saying feels right to you. Maybe the next time you see a stranger in the village, you’ll smile and wave at them instead of hiding behind Ellana’s skirt until she talks to them. And if you ever meet a drow, you’ll try to be nice to them. Even if they end up not being nice back, it feels like the right thing to do. Len accidently knocks you down while leaving class again a few more times, but only when Father Mortimer is teaching. You never really wonder why Len seems clumsier then, or if it has anything to do with the fact that Father Mortimer doesn’t hear very well and tends not to look back after he’s left the room. Eleanor tells you to shove him back next time, but after you start to go tell Father Glasny what she said, she changes her mind and tells you that you shouldn’t. You keep thinking that Len must have gotten awfully clumsy all of a sudden, so you tend to hang back a little more often when school is done, to try to let him leave first, but otherwise, it’s just an occasional accident.

For once, Eleanor is the one who tells. One day, you can hear Sister Honora giving Len an earful from the room you share with Dowan (it used to be Sorcha’s too, but she got her own before you can really remember things), although she stops after a little bit. Crys is with them too, so you think they might have told her to stop. You wonder if Len will think it was you who told, even though it wasn’t this time. You feel bad that Len is getting yelled at for being clumsy, although you have to admit that you’re a little glad that Len might be more careful from now on.

Father Glasny tells you he wants to talk to you in his office. You’ve never been asked to talk with him in there, it’s always just been a place where you go when you want. You start to wonder if you’ve somehow made a mistake and managed to get in trouble too. Your stomach feels weird as you walk into the office and sit in one of the small chairs that Father Glasny has for when he wants to meet with someone who’s closer to his height than most of the grown-ups you know. Once you’re seated, though, Father Glasny smiles at you, and the weird feeling in your stomach starts to go away. You still don’t know why he called you in here, but at least now you’re pretty sure you’re not in trouble.

“Kilwn,” he says. “Lad. How have your lessons been?”

“Very good, Father Glasny!” You tell him. “I’ve been learning lots.”

Father Glasny listens and nods. “That’s good to hear. I’ve heard, though, that you haven’t been getting along with young Len. Would you like to talk with me about it?”

The weird feeling in your stomach comes back, although you still don’t think you’re in trouble right now. “I guess we’re not friends. But I think that’s okay.” You hurriedly add, “He’s not in a lot of trouble because he knocked into me, is he? He didn’t mean to do it all those times. It was accidents, and he said sorry.”

Father Glasny blinks before responding. “I see. Well, I have to say, lad, I think most people’s forgiveness would have started to wear thin by now.” He thinks this over for a moment. “Not to say that’s a bad thing on your part… but I do hope you feel comfortable discussing things like this with me, Kilwin. Or at least, with someone from the temple.”

“I do. Len’s just clumsy.”

Father Glasny nods, and you’re not yet familiar with the concept of humoring someone. “Even so. If you’re getting hurt, even if it’s no one’s fault, I want someone to be able to do something about it. And for that, someone needs to know about it.”

Your guts start to twist again. “Am I in trouble, Father Glasny?”

Father Glasny’s eyes grow wide for a moment and the corner of his mouth twitches. “Heavens, no! If anything, I’m the one who should be in trouble!”

Somewhere deep inside you, you know he’s making a joke, but it’s the first time it’s occurred to you that grown-ups can even get in trouble. “Are you in trouble? I don’t want you to be in trouble.”

“Not quite, lad.” Father Glasny lets out a chuckle, but you don’t get the feeling he’s laughing at you. “But I’ll certainly feel as if I should be if you don’t feel like you can tell any of us when you get hurt.” He briefly stops to think. “I want you to know that all of us adults here care if something happens to you, whether it’s someone’s fault or not. There’s usually something to be done about it… In this case, I’m discussing things with Father Mortimer and the others. We’ll try to land on something that keeps you safe while not affecting young Len too badly. But in all cases, when something like this happens, please tell one of us. No one has to get in trouble, and if you’d feel better with something being our secret, I’m sure everyone will understand. But we still might be able to do something about it.” He pauses and looks to you for a response.

“I heard Sister Honora yelling at Len.”

Father Glasny considers this and frowns. “I see. Sister Honora means well, but she can… come on a bit strongly, as they say. I could see why you might hesitate to talk to her. And I suppose I shouldn’t speak for the others. Really, lad, I don’t mean to make you feel as if you’ve done something wrong, or that I’m demanding you to tell us things if you don’t want to. I’m just… a bit concerned for you. You’re a bright young lad, Kilwin, but I do feel this particular situation was a tad more serious than you judged it, as far as I can tell. And we all err in our judgments from time to time. But I do want to be sure that that’s all that’s going on here, and that the issue doesn’t have anything to do with how trustworthy we’ve been.” He smiles. “I suppose if we haven’t earned your trust so far, I can’t really expect you to trust me enough to tell me that. But asking still seems to be the best way to find out, to me at least.”

You realize that Father Glasny is sad, and it’s because of you, even though you didn’t mean to make him sad and he doesn’t blame you for it. Still, you wish you had known that not telling Father Glasny about Len’s clumsiness would make him upset… You make up your mind to tell him more things in the future, whether they’re good or bad. You put on your best smile and nod. “Of course! Sorry I made you worry.”

“Oh, don’t feel like you need to apologize for that. Worrying about you is part of my job.” He holds his hand out to you. “Would you like to shake on it?”

You take his hand in yours and pump up and down a few times until you let go.

“Thank you,” he says. “I hope that was a good talk.”

You nod. “It was!” You stand up from your chair and take a few steps towards the door before you turn and say, “Can I stay in here and read for a little bit?” As you get taller, there’s more books in Father Glasny’s office that you can reach without getting onto the stool he uses to reach them. You’re six years old when you realize that you’re actually taller than him. You’ve come to understand that Father Glasny is a gnome, which means he’s not actually that short: Gnomes are just that height and because you’re a human (the grown-ups are pretty sure you are at this point, anyway), you’re almost certainly going to be much taller than him when you grow up. Some of Father Glasny’s books are written in Gnomish, which you can’t read but you asked him about and he offered to teach you some. He seemed really happy about it. He’s already taught you a few words and you practice talking with him sometimes, but reading it is really complicated and you can’t do much of that yet. You can read some of the books he has in Common, even though a lot of them talk about things you don’t understand. Out of the books you understand, you like the ones about Alethus the best, and out of the ones you don’t, you like the ones with a lot of pictures because they’re fun to look at.

At any rate, Father Glasny is busy reviewing some lessons with Eleanor’s sister Roslyn, so you’re in his office by yourself. He trusts you a lot, to let you do things without someone watching, but he always says to come get him if something is wrong. You see a book on one of the higher shelves you can reach- you probably couldn’t have reached it three months ago- that sparks your interest. You think the spine reads “Anotamy” or something like that, and you’re not sure if that’s a name or just a word you don’t know. You decide you’re going to find out. You reach up and pull the book down, and open it to a random page to see if it has pictures.

It certainly does have pictures, and you’re immediately greeted by the sight of an arm with no body to go with it, and even parts of that are missing. You see bone and muscles and whatever else makes an arm under the skin, things that would be bloody if they were really in the room with you. You almost drop the book on the floor in your haste to get the picture away from you. Fortunately, you manage to catch it, and you hurriedly place it back on the shelf. You were very serious when you decided you would tell Father Glasny more things, but you think it would be a very easy solution if you just didn’t look at this one book again, and also didn’t mention it to anyone so you don’t have to think about it more. You decide to just pretend you didn’t see it as best as you can.

Someday, you’ll understand why Father Glasny has this book and decide it’s time to try it again. You’ll be able to stomach the illustrations enough to read it from cover to cover, in hopes that you can learn something that will help someone down the line. When that day comes, you’ll open this book again and feel like you were very silly when you were younger, that nothing in this book is really so gruesome. But today, you don’t feel silly at all as you look at one of the lower shelves, pull out a familiar tome about Alethus’s creations, and sit down with it to try to forget. Father Glasny is a cleric, which means that Alethus lets him use some of her powers to heal people and do other nice things. He says he’s far from the most powerful cleric, but you don’t see how that could be true, so you think he’s just being modest. People come to the temple when they get sick or hurt so that Father Glasny can at least try to make them better. Usually, it works.

You’ve seen Father Glasny heal Sorcha when she had a fever, and one time Len climbed a tree that was too tall even though you said he shouldn’t (he said something very rude in response), so you ran to tell Father Glasny and by the time you came back with him, Len had fallen out of the tree and broken his leg, so you’ve seen Father Glasny heal that too. So you don’t understand why Father Glasny needs a walking stick, or why Father Mortimer (who doesn’t teach your class very often anymore) can’t hear very well. Len could walk fine a few minutes after Father Glasny healed his leg, so you’re not sure why Father Glasny doesn’t just heal his own leg. You used to think that his staff was just a staff, especially since it has a carving of the six-pointed sunburst of Alethus at its top so that he can use it to direct his magic. After a while though, you realized you never see him walking without it, unless it’s just a few steps. You’re really curious about it, but you don’t want to be nosy.

You get an opportunity to ask, though, when you’re making your way to bed slightly later than usual (at the moment, you’re very distressed that you’re late for bedtime) and overhear Father Glasny and Father Mortimer talking in Father Glasny’s office. The door is slightly open, so you can hear some of what they’re saying, and what you hear is much more troubling to you than being late for bedtime, so you end up stopping in your tracks.

“Eventually, yes,” Father Glasny says with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Mortimer.” He sounds tired and sad, like he’s giving up on something even though he doesn’t want to. You’ve never heard him sound like that, and it scares you.

“Nothing to apologize for.” Father Mortimer is making an effort to sound jovial, but even you can tell he isn’t feeling it. “You’ve done what you can, which is more than most.”

“Still, I-” Father Glasny stops talking as soon as he notices you in the hallway. “Kilwin! Heading to bed?”

You don’t know what to say, because you didn’t hear much, but you’re pretty sure you weren’t supposed to hear anything. You open the door the rest of the way and take a step into Father Glasny’s office. Father Mortimer turns in his seat to face you.

“Oh, hello, Kilwin,” he says. “I was just thinking of turning in myself.”

You just stare at him for a moment, unsure how he’s pretending nothing is wrong when it clearly is, unless you just have a very wrong idea of what they were talking about and everything is fine. You suppose the only way to find out is to ask. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to Father Mortimer?”

Father Mortimer’s smile falters and Father Glasny sighs as they look at each other. For a moment, neither of them say anything, like they’re both waiting for the other one to talk first.

“Everything is fine,” Father Mortimer says, breaking the silence. “I’ve just been, ah… a bit under the weather lately. We were discussing it, although we were about to finish, I think.”

“As Father Mortimer says.” Father Glasny nods, but his smile seems a bit thinner than normal. “We don’t mean to trouble you.”

“If you’re sick…” Your gaze shifts between Father Mortimer and Father Glasny. “Why don’t you cast a spell that makes him better?”

Father Mortimer simply shrugs as Father Glasny ponders your question for a moment. “Well, you see, lad…” he eventually says. “All magic has its limits. There are clerics who can do all manner of things… speak with others across great distances, create food from nothing, communicate directly with the gods, even bring the dead back to life. There are other magic users as well, who may not be able to cast these spells, but can do things that clerics could only dream of. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Still, all of us are bound to certain limits, no matter how much divine or arcane energy we channel. When it comes to healing magic… Well, one of those limits is old age. Things happen that magic can’t fix anymore. For example, my hip-” Father Glasny gestures toward his walking stick, propped against the side of his desk. “Or Father Mortimer’s… condition.” Father Mortimer nods in agreement.

“Oh,” is all you can say at first. You don’t think that sounds very fair to old people, but if Father Glasny says it’s true, it must be how it is. And you’re sure Father Glasny is speaking from some kind of experience- he’s very old, after all. “That’s…” You can’t help but be honest though. “I don’t like that.”

“None of us do, lad,” Father Glasny says. “But it’s another part of the Nameless God’s domain, and they can be delayed, but not denied.”

Silence hangs over the room as you take this in. After what feels like ages, Father Glasny says, “I’m sorry, lad, I know these are unpleasant things to think about, and you’re only just starting to be old enough to really understand them. I hope we haven’t troubled you too much for one night. If you have any questions...”

Father Mortimer slowly rises to his feet and places his hand on your shoulder. “Yes, yes… We can talk about this more tomorrow, I think. Right now, it’s past your bedtime, and mine for that matter.” He guides you out of Father Glasny’s office and to the room you share with Dowan before saying good night to you. You think Dowan is very lucky to be asleep already.

You don’t sleep very well that night.

Len stops causing trouble so much at the temple after he got yelled at by Sister Honora, at least for a while. Father Mortimer is hardly ever in charge of your class during school anymore, or any of the classes for that matter, and the other grown-ups tend to keep a closer eye on Len and Harry and you. You’ve also noticed he hardly ever leads services either, so he must still be feeling under the weather, and that doesn’t have anything to do with Len.

One day, though, you’re with Crys and Ellana as they visit Laucian at the Nervous Turkey. The Nervous Turkey is Laucian’s shop, and it’s the only shop in town. It’s also the only inn in town, so if people from other places come to Cowersby, they end up spending most of their time there. One time, three people with swords and things came for two days and stayed at the Nervous Turkey for the night. Laucian was very nervous the whole time they were there, and you didn’t really get to meet the people, but one of them had a big dog that you liked to see, so you wish they spent more of their time at the temple. Most of the people in Cowersby are farmers, though, so everyone mostly gets food from each other and not a lot of people buy food from Laucian, but sometimes grown-ups buy drinks from him that you’re not supposed to have yet, like ale. Father Mortimer says you can have fun with that when you’re older, but Sister Honora got mad and told you not to waste too much time waiting for that. She doesn’t think it’s worth it.

Laucian comes to the temple a lot, but someone from the temple goes to the Nervous Turkey every so often just to make sure everything’s okay. Sometimes he gets really stressed out if he has people staying there, or if people want things from outside the village and give him a long list for the next merchant who comes through on the way to or from Laketon, or around festival days when a lot of people come to drink. He also gets stressed out when no one is staying at the Nervous Turkey and there’s not a lot of people drinking, because then he doesn’t have a lot of money. Laucian gets stressed out a lot, you think, but that’s just how he is. He lives by himself, so Father Glasny says it’s important that someone looks after him from time to time. Usually, you don’t tag along when someone goes to see Laucian, but Ellana is supposed to be watching you and she wanted to come because she’s been thinking about joining the temple as a sister. You like Ellana, so you hope she does.

Laucian is in a state when you arrive. He’s frantically pacing around the tables, occasionally circling back to the bar and looking behind it, muttering “Where did it… Why can’t I…”

“What’s gone missing this time, Lau?” Crys doesn’t bother with a hello, which shocks you.

Laucian immediately rises to his full height and says, “Please don’t call me Lau.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Crys puts their hands up. “Just an easy way to get your attention.” Laucian just sighs, so Crys keeps talking. “Anyway, you’re looking for something?”

“The copper jar. I left it right here.” He gestures to a spot on the counter that is unfortunately empty.

Ellana’s eyes grow wide, although Crys keeps their cool. “Has it been busy in here today?”

“No, thankfully.” Laucian gives this a second thought. “Well, maybe not thankfully. Mostly usuals, you know. A merchant left this morning, but I saw it during lunchtime. At least… Oh, I hope I’m not thinking of lunchtime yesterday.”

“Hmm.” Crys is looking around the tavern, peeking under tables. “Anyone stand out in particular?”

“You can’t think anyone would have taken it!” Ellana gasps and covers her mouth as she looks to her cousin.

“I mean, it’s not where Lau left it. Laucian.” Crys corrects themself as Laucian grimaces. “Someone must have at least moved it.”

“But how could they come back, then?” Ellana starts to pace. “No one could just… steal from Laucian and then come back the next day like nothing happened.”

Crys pauses their search to pat Ellana on the shoulder. Then they turn back to Laucian. “So who do you remember?”

Laucian thinks this over. “That merchant left for Quadroad... She said she was going to Port Valor eventually. Mrs. Eggberry was in for an hour or so. Said she was going home, but she…” Laucian glances at you just long enough for you to notice. “Well, I hope she did. Len came looking for her a bit later, though. Let’s see, there was Aly Lomas... Fred Greendawn came in for some soup… Oh, but before that...”

By now, you’ve stopped really listening to Laucian list the names of mostly people you know but not very well. You’re helping Crys look around. They’re tall, so they can reach more places, but it couldn’t hurt to try. You look under the tables, which feels pretty silly since it’s not like there’s a particularly good place to put something down there except on the floor. You’re about to give up when you check under one of the larger tables near the wall and spot a small reflection that shouldn’t be there. There’s a big dent in the wall, which you’re not sure is safe, like somebody kicked it really hard at some point and it never got fixed. You crawl out from under the table with a small jar of copper coins under your arm.

Ellana gasps when she sees you, which gets Crys and Laucian’s attention too. You explain about how the wall is broken a little and the jar could just barely fit in there, which Laucian hates to hear. He grumbles something about a particularly rowdy adventurer who came through a few months ago. He and Crys get down on their hands and knees to take a look at it.

“Well.” Crys gets back on their feet and extends a hand to Laucian, who’s struggling to get back up. “We found it.”

Ellana isn’t particularly comforted. “But someone had to have… Who would put it down there?”

“Someone short.” Laucian dusts off the knees of his trousers. You think he might be making a joke, but you can recognize how it would be hard for a tall person to find that spot, much less get to it, much less get to it without Laucian noticing them crawling under a table. You can tell the adults are running through the list of customers Laucian named in their heads, trying to determine who might have hidden the jar.

Out of everyone Laucian named, though, only one of them is around your height. Len’s gone too far this time, as it turns out. Ellana walks you back to the temple, but Crys stays out to keep an eye out for him. Apparently, they find him closer to the temple than his house, by himself, so Crys brings him back to the temple to talk with Father Glasny about how taking things is wrong, even when you’re not exactly taking them right then and there. You see Father Glasny standing with Len near the entrance of the temple, after they’re done talking. Crys has gone to fetch Len’s mother, since his father is in Laketon right now. You think about going to stand with them, but when you approach, Len gives you a look that makes you think you better not. You leave Father Glasny and Len to wait. They wait in silence.

And they wait.

Father Glasny taps a finger on the side of his staff. Len stands next to him with his arms crossed, silent. You leave the main hall and come back a little later and they’re still there. Father Glasny has taken a seat on one of the back pews, but Len is still standing.

“I’m sure it’s not what you’d prefer, but… you’re welcome to eat dinner with us here, if you’d like,” you overhear Father Glasny saying.

“No. She’ll come before that.”

Father Glasny sighs and gets back up. He walks over to Len and places his hand on his shoulder just as you hear Len’s breath catch in his throat. You hurry away, pretty sure that you’ve heard something you weren’t supposed to hear.

At the same time, you feel something catch in your own throat. It’s not fair that Len has to stand there so long just because his father is in Laketon and his mother can’t come right away. It’s certainly not right to just leave someone somewhere when they need you. It occurs to you that maybe you and Len have a little more in common than either of you really want to admit. Still, at least your parents, whoever they are, left you somewhere nice where you get to stay, even if you’re not sure how they knew it would be nice. Len will have to leave the temple eventually… It’s not right to keep him here when his parents live in the village, but it doesn’t feel right to send him away either. It’s also certainly not right for Len to go around tormenting poor Laucian because of all that, though. The lump in your throat is growing and your face is growing warm and you realize with a start that you’re angry. You’re angry at Len’s parents for not watching over him well enough and making him upset, and maybe, just maybe you’re a little angry at yours after all. You’ve learned by now that you’re not happy all the time, since no one is, but you’re not used to being this angry and you don’t like it one bit. You hurry back to the quarters you share with Dowan to pray until dinner, hoping that telling Alethus about it will help you calm down.

Len is gone before dinnertime after all, but his mother doesn’t come to the temple. Instead, Crys comes back alone and walks him home. When you ask at dinner, they tell you that Len’s mother wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t come, and you feel bad for getting mad at her earlier, but Crys still seems more mad than sympathetic. They’re nice, so you don’t really get why they wouldn’t just feel bad, but maybe it means you weren’t wrong to get mad after all. Father Glasny tells them they should be a bit more compassionate toward her, though, even though he also says Len deserves the most compassion here. Dinner that night feels sadder than normal, since no one really wants to talk. You finish your meal in relative silence before going back to your room to pray some more. It’s pretty rare that someone new moves to Cowersby, so everyone takes notice when a half-orc arrives in town and starts making arrangements to stay. There’s not any empty houses in Cowersby, so they move into a room at the Nervous Turkey at first. They say they’re a carpenter, so they’re not worried that there’s no house for them and that they’ll just build a new house once they’ve gotten the materials for it. Laucian doesn’t seem to mind having a guest this time, since they immediately agreed to fix up the small part of his wall that’s still messed up. The half-orc meets with Mayor Finley a lot to work out getting wood and stuff, and how they’re going to pay for it. Sure enough, after they’ve been in town for about a month, the foundations of a small house are laid near the outskirts of town.

Everyone at the temple is really excited, especially Crys. They’re in charge of repairs at the temple because they’re the best at it, although they’re the first one to say that that doesn’t actually mean they’re good at it. They also don’t like doing it at all, and sometimes you used to hear them say a rude word when they’re working, although usually not when Sister Honora or Ellana is nearby. They’ve mostly stopped saying rude words, though, ever since you told Father Mortimer after hearing them and he gave them a short lecture. At any rate, Crys goes so far as to invite the newcomer to the temple to show them around and see if the temple has enough coin to hire them sometimes.

When you finally see them at the temple, the first thing you notice about them is that they’re big. Bigger than anyone you’ve ever met before. Their skin is green, which is also something you haven’t seen before, and they look very strong. You imagine that you’d have to be strong to build stuff, though, since the wood is probably heavy.

“Didn’t have to duck,” they mutter as they examine the temple entrance’s doorframe. “Always nice.”

Crys nods. “It’s mostly humans and elves here, but when they built the temple, they didn’t want size to be a factor in who can feel comfortable here. No one feels excluded, you know?” Crys and the half-orc look over to you, and you realize you’ve been staring a little bit, which is rude,  but the newcomer doesn’t seem to react much to you at all, so maybe it doesn’t bother them.

“This is Kilwin, by the way,” Crys explains. “We take care of him here at the temple.”

The half-orc grunts, but not in a rude way. You think maybe they’re just shy. You take a few steps closer. “It’s nice to meet you! What’s your name?”

There’s a pause as they look at you, then glance at Crys. “It’s, well…” They sigh before making a grunting sound you’re not sure you can imitate. “It’s fine if you can’t get it totally right, but…”

“Aeuugh?” You do your best.

Aeuugh smiles a little, or at least you think they do. “I’ve heard worse tries.”

“Thank you!” You don’t think to question if this is the proper response or not.

Crys excuses the both of them and finishes showing Aeuugh around the temple. They join you for dinner too, where they don’t talk much, but Father Glasny tells them about some of the renovations the temple’s gone through since he’s been there, and they seem to listen with interest as Father Mortimer and Sister Honora discuss some of the earlier events of the day. Once dinner is over, they grunt out a thanks and head back to the Nervous Turkey for the night.

“A little gruff, aren’t they?” Father Mortimer remarks after they’ve gone.

“Doesn’t mince words,” Sister Honora replies. “I’m looking forward to working with them.”

“So am I,” Father Glasny says. “I think this will be a good partnership.”

The happiest adult, though, is Crys. They don’t say anything, but they have the widest smile you’ve ever seen on their face. You finally begin to realize how much they hated doing temple repairs. Ellana becomes Sister Ellana during the summer when you’re eight years old. She’s not magic like Father Glasny and Sister Honora are, but she’s been at the temple so often throughout your life that it feels natural. Lately, she’s spent a lot of her time at the temple away in Father Glasny’s office, studying some of his harder books, or sitting aside with Sister Honora, talking quietly, much more often than you’ve normally seen them talking. You’re pretty sure now that this was what she needed to do to join the temple, or part of it at least. Once, you asked Father Mortimer what you needed to do to be a priest, and he did say it involved a lot of reading and studying sacred texts and also feeling a calling. Then he told you that you’re a bit young to be worrying about callings and priesthood just yet and ruffled your hair and asked if you had finished your homework. You had!

The ceremony is pretty sparsely attended, just Ellana’s parents and Crys and maybe three other villagers, but you make sure you’re there. No one’s joined the temple since Sister Honora, and that was long before you were born. You want to see it, now that it’s finally happening, even if Father Mortimer says it would be fine if you wanted to play outside while it was going on, it must be awfully boring to a child after all. You’re certain you won’t be bored at all, though.

Father Glasny stands at the pulpit, with Father Mortimer and Sister Honora on each side of him. Ellana, wearing white robes you haven’t seen her in before, kneels in front of them and holds out her hands. Father Glasny takes them in his and asks, “Are you certain, Ellana?”

She takes a deep breath. “I’m certain, Father Glasny. I wish to devote my life… myself to the service of Alethus.” You catch yourself mouthing the words after she says them.

Father Glasny smiles at her. “Very well. Sister Honora? I did not preside over Ellana Dunstan’s studies of the rites of the priesthood of Alethus entirely. Is she well-prepared for the duties she wishes to perform here in the name of Alethus?”

To his right, Sister Honora nods. “She has studied thoroughly. More importantly, her intentions are pure, and I can attest she understands the will of Alethus as well as any mortal.”

Father Glasny nods back to her. “Thank you, Sister Honora. Now, Ellana Dunstan… We shall begin.”

It takes about an hour, all told. Father Glasny speaks, some of it in Common, about service to Alethus, recognizing her light within us all, standing against the wickedness of K’thalios in all its forms, caring for those affected by him, serving the village of Cowersby as long as she remains here and wherever in Alethustria she goes if she leaves. They fill you with some kind of ache, weirdly, because they’re nice words, but it’s not a bad ache, you guess. Some of it is words you don’t understand, the same kinds of words that Father Glasny says when he’s trying to fix someone’s injury or help someone who’s sick. A light begins to envelope him, and Ellana too, and you’re not sure if it’s something Father Glasny is doing or if Alethus herself has entered the temple to oversee this personally. One of the farmers, who you don’t think really knows Ellana except as someone around the village, quietly gets up to leave partway through, but you watch every second of it. Near the end, Father Mortimer and Sister Honora place their hands on Ellana’s shoulders and you might be imagining this part, but you think they’re glowing as well.

When it’s over, the light fades. Father Mortimer and Sister Honora back away again, and Father Glasny lets go of Sister Ellana’s hands. She opens her eyes and looks up. Father Glasny smiles at her.

“You may rise. Welcome, Sister Ellana.”

Sister Ellana stands up and bows to Father Glasny. She’s still not magic, but to you right now, she is. “Thank you… for welcoming me. I-I hope I can fulfill your expectations” You think she’s maybe crying, but you’re a few pews back and your eyes are kind of wet too. You’re not sure why it would make you cry, but somehow, you know this is what you want. Even if Father Mortimer says you’re too young to feel any kind of calling, you know that someday you want to be where Sister Ellana is now, rising from your knees, knowing you’re helping something bigger than you. There’s always a cake when it’s someone’s birthday at the temple, but you never bother to ask where the cake comes from. You don’t think anyone else does either. You assume Father Glasny, Father Mortimer, Sister Honora, and Crys (and probably Sister Ellana, although she’s new enough that maybe they haven’t told her yet) all know, so they don’t need to ask, but for the rest of you, the cake simply appears and you enjoy it without question. It’s not until the evening before your ninth birthday (such as it is) that the pieces start to fall into place for you.

It’s not unusual for Sister Honora to get more groceries than you would think she could carry. It’s not unusual for her to buy sugar or flour or things like that, so you don’t really think about it when she comes back to the temple with a lot of bags of things like that. And milk, of course. And when Dowan complains that he’s too hungry to focus on this parchment filled with figures to calculate for Father Mortimer’s class, you offer to check the kitchen to see if there’s any bread rolls left over from last night’s dinner. The kitchen door is closed, which is weird, but you’re old enough now that no one is worried about you going in there by yourself. You know not to touch hot things or sharp things. So you open the door and go in, in search of portable bread.

When you lock eyes with Sister Honora inside, you begin to worry you’ve done something wrong.

She turns the second you step through the door, shock obvious on her face, as she drops a bowl a spoon into the basin and rushes to stand in front of the oven, which seems to be in use. Shock is probably obvious on your face too.

“Kilwin! What are you here for?” Her eyes narrow at you. She’s suddenly very still.

You barely choke out the word “Bread.” She points at the bread box on the counter next to the basin but doesn’t move from her spot in front of the oven. You happen to notice the remnants of batter in the bowl and on the spoon, but you have no idea what Sister Honora could have been making and you don’t dare ask. You grab two rolls for Dowan and head directly for the door.

“Kilwin.”

You freeze in your tracks. You realize you forgot to say thank you and now Sister Honora is cross. You turn back to face her. Her brow is creased, but somehow, she doesn’t look mad.

“Happy birthday,” she says. “Tomorrow, anyway.”

“Thank you!” you blurt out, clutching the bread rolls to your chest. You walk very briskly back to your room, where Dowan devours the rolls in half the time it took you to get them. The anxiety of the encounter quickly passes over you, and you don’t think much of it. At least not until the next day when you’re eating the cake that simply appears on your birthday, like everyone else’s, and realize Sister Honora is watching you, smiling softly. Father Mortimer goes in the middle of the night. Sister Honora is the one who finds him in the morning. You and Dowan have just woken up when she notices he isn’t up yet, and she seems kind of annoyed that he’s slept so late. She leaves to wake him up, but she comes back by herself and barely seems to notice you or Dowan as she asks Father Glasny to come with her. You’ve almost forgotten about that conversation you’ve overheard between Father Glasny and Father Mortimer at this point, but the way Father Glasny’s face falls makes you remember it and your stomach starts to churn. He and Sister Honora leave you with Sister Ellana and go back to Father Mortimer’s room together.

There’s nothing Father Glasny can do, in the end, other than reciting Father Mortimer’s funeral rites the next day. They put Father Mortimer in a box, and everyone comes to the temple and listens to Father Glasny talk about how Father Mortimer was when he was alive and also when he was younger, and how the Nameless God must be respected, but Father Mortimer’s entered the afterlife now and Alethus has guided him to her side. You’ll know these words by heart some day in what feels like the wildly distant future now, but for once, you’re having trouble focusing on what Father Glasny is saying. You’re crying a lot, so Sister Ellana has her arm around you, but she’s crying a lot too, so that doesn’t make you feel much better. Once Father Glasny’s sermon is over, Crys and one of the adults from the village put the lid on Father Mortimer’s box and carry it outside to a hole that Crys dug earlier. The graveyard behind the temple in Cowersby is small, but it gets a little bigger every so often, like today. Father Glasny says a few more words about Alethus and the Nameless God before Crys and the person from the village lower the box into the hole and start filling the hole back up. Laucian brings some food to the temple so people can stay and talk about Father Mortimer if they want. You’re upset enough that you’d rather go back to your room and be by yourself, but Sorcha and Dowan are staying, so you feel like you should too. You don’t know what you should say to people, though, or how to say it without starting to cry again, so you mostly stick to the walls of the room with a cup of water that doesn’t taste very good to you today while other people talk.

By the end of the day, you’re all cried out. You don’t feel very well the next day- your eyes are still puffy and you have a headache. You don’t feel very well for a few days, actually, but Father Glasny takes a look at you and tells you that you’re mostly likely grieving, although you should definitely tell him if you still aren’t feeling okay in a few weeks. Time passes though, and life goes on at the temple. Father Glasny and Sister Honora hold services. The adults keep teaching school and you keep going. Len gets in trouble for calling Eleanor a rude word after you tell Father Glasny about it. You still miss Father Mortimer, but you start to adjust to life without him around. Things begin to feel normal again, even without him around. Your memories of what it was like to find out that Father Mortimer wasn’t going to wake up that morning or seeing him in a box the next day even start to blur a little bit.

After a while, you almost forget it can happen at all. Now that Father Mortimer is gone, though, there’s only one Parent at the temple. Father Glasny was a Father for a long time before Father Mortimer was, so you know he’ll be okay and so will the temple, even though he’s still upset. Still, Father Glasny doesn’t like to be the only person in charge of the temple. You assume that might just be how it works, though.

There’s no ceremony or anything, or if there is, no one is invited to it. Sister Honora spends some extra time in Father Glasny’s study, but the door is closed, so you’re not sure what they talk about. Sometimes, Sister Ellana is in there too, but Sorcha says they’re just making sure she’s kept in the loop about how Father Mortimer’s old duties should be divided among them. Sister Honora is in there more often because she’s the one who’s taking over the majority of those duties.

When these meetings are over, much is still the same. She still does most of the cooking, and her normal duties around the temple too. There’s a shift, though, and it’s subtle in some ways. She was always respected (and she would get quite cross if she wasn’t), but now people greet her a bit more reverently around the village. She stands with Father Glasny at the pulpit now, rather than to the side of it with Sister Ellana. Still, the most obvious change is in what people call her, both at the temple and in the village. It doesn’t take too long for you to change how you refer to her too.

She’s Mother Honora now.